Watching Full House makes me sad.

TLDR: Full House makes me sad because it’s overly happy and nostalgic and I don’t have a large family???? (I honestly don’t know why Full House makes me sad but I’m hoping someone can relate).


 

So it’s your typical weeknight, you’re at home with a bag of popcorn and a can of sprite, and it’s time to decide what to watch on Netflix (because when you have a smart tv with built in netflix, who needs to do anything else with their lives). Now, I’m the kind of person where I like to multitask, as in I like to watch something whilst scrolling through instagram on my phone, scroll through pinterest on my ipad, and write blog posts on my laptop. And yes, all of this happens within the hour. Because of this, I like to put something on that I’ve already seen or don’t need to pay much attention to. Usually, my go-to is to just put on Friends… but when you’ve re-watched the series like 53 times since it ended like 11 years ago, sometimes you just need a change in pace. Enter Full House.

I was somewhat a fan of Full House growing up.. When I was 5 I had a best friend named Bryn, and her older sister LOVED Full House. Her sister would often babysit us, and I remember sitting and watching Full House with her. I can’t remember if I actually enjoyed the show, or if I just watched it because I wanted to be cool with Bryn’s older sister (because when you’re young, your friends’ older siblings are the coooooolest), but nonetheless I watched it. I also LOVED the Olsen twins when I was little, so I was pretty much a Full House fan by default (although I can 100% now say that my favourite character is Stephanie and Michelle is actually really annoying).

I’ve caught re-runs over the last two decades, and I even contemplated owning the complete series on DVD because it seemed like a cool staple dvd collection, and it came shaped like a house which was dope. I’ve never considered Full House to be one of my favourite shows though.. It’s always just sorta been there whenever there was nothing else to watch. I know the ins and outs of the show, I know all of the catchphrases and the quirky storylines and whatever else.. but my life was never changed by its presence.

HOWEVER, last year I went through this thing where I was so petrified of the movie Sinister  that I literally couldn’t sleep at night (truthfully, thinking about it right now and having to type out the word ‘sinister’ is scaring the shit out of me). Whenever this would happen, I would put on netflix and watch Full House because it was super happy and cheesy and took my mind off of the scariness. So I’ve grown to enjoy Full House in my adult years.

Here’s the thing though…. Watching Full House makes me REALLY sad. And I honestly have no idea why. Its mainly just the opening credits that get to me, but sometimes I feel really really sad as I watch an entire episode. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s because growing up I didn’t really have a “Full House”… it was just my mom and I. But I’m at the point where I refuse to believe that Full House is bringing out subconscious emotions about growing up with a single mother and no siblings or live-in uncles. I don’t know man. Something about the theme song gets me every time. It’s just going on about how times used to be simple… but don’t you worry, there will always be someone to carry you hoooooooommmeeee. Or something. I don’t know. Perhaps its the simplicity of it all and I feel very sad and, dare I say, nostalgic for a time of simplicity and happy times with your family and friends. I lay on the couch watching this show… dreading having to go to work tomorrow, feeling miserable about the fact that all of my friends and I are on conflicting schedules so we hardly ever get to do fun things (and when we do it’s limited because of either time or money), and even the fact that I don’t have a whole bustling family in a giant house with two different staircases to get upstairs.

Forgive me if this sounds morbid and weird, but I feel like Full House is a show that I would binge after the death of someone close to me or a shitty break up. It’s just something I would turn to for easy and happy relief. Maybe that’s why I already feel sad watching it. LOL I DON’T KNOW!

I’m writing this in hopes that I find out I’m not the only one who feels this way, although there probably wont be too many people who see this so it’s not like I’m going to get any sort of answer.. and the people who do read this are probably just gonna think I’m weird, especially for already deciding that Full House is something I’d binge when a person dies. Sorry.

At the end of the day, I still quite enjoy the show, and I thought Fuller House was great. It also didn’t make me sad at all, which is interesting.

 

10 Things People Do Not Tell You About Sex

Sex. Sex sex sex. If you were like me as a child (or if you are a child reading this now… go away this isn’t appropriate), the topic of sex was one that you absolutely did not want to talk about unless it was with your cool aunt or your best friend. If my mom tried to talk to me about anything sexually related, I would cover my ears and scream and pray to god she never brought it up again. This wasn’t to say I wasn’t interested in sex, quite the contrary actually… I was just too damn awkward to hold a serious conversation about the matter. I got my information elsewhere- cool older cousins who I thought knew everything about sex, issues of Cosmopolitan magazine that I would secretly read when my mom wasn’t looking, and of course the classic Canadian television show Degrassi. I am in my twenties, so it should be no secret that I am a sexually active being, and being a sexually active being has resulted in quite a few “wtfs” and “wait, what is happening” moments over the years. These are moments that nobody tells you about sex. These moments don’t turn up in even the most raunchiest of sections in cosmo, your mom sure as hell isn’t going to talk about them, and you only find out that they’re normal when you so coyly ask your friends “has ________ ever happened to you while having sex?” To which they scream and praise Jesus because they thought they were the only one.

1. It hurts.

And no, not just your first time. Everyone is given horror stories which (I’m sure are just to deter us from having sex for as long as possible) about how your first time is going to hurt. Some people even describe what I can only imagine is comparable to a gruesome murder scene. The problem is, many expect it to hurt the first time and then you are good to go. WRONG. Little pains and twinges come all the time, even with the most seasoned of sexual beings. Sometimes it’s just a matter of relaxation, or getting dem angles right. Other times your vagina is just too shallow. It doesn’t even have to be a sexually-related pain either; sometimes you wake up the next day feeling like you attempted to do a triathlon and failed- but not before working every muscle to the bone. Muscular pain is a real thing. Along with thigh cramps.

2. It’s sticky. And yes, sometimes there is a smell.

SO many different fluids are being exchanged here, and if you are really getting down and dirrrty, you are bound to come out of it feeling like the floor of a movie theatre. It’s inevitable so just accept it. It’s also messy, if you didn’t figure that out through the fact that it is sticky. In conjunction with the fluids and stickiness… I mean, what do you expect! As for the smell, yeah yeah yeah it’s gross, I get it. I’m not about to go into detail about this, but you get the idea. Just be prepared that sex is not as beautiful or hot as it looks in classy movies… or porn.

3. There are so many possibilities for unflattering angles.

Coming back to sex not being as hot as it looks in porn, a large part of this has to do with angles. The only POV we see in porn is a camera being shoved right into a girls’ vag, so really it’s the POV of the penis that is ramming her going in and out. No, I’m talking about the POV of your partner… chances are its not a pretty picture. I was snapchatting with my best friend yesterday and we came to discover that the unflattering angles we snap each other from for fun, are also the angles our boyfriends see us from while things are going dowwnnnnn. If you don’t believe me, hold your front-facing camera down by your crotch and pretend that it is giving you oral. That camera is not angled all nice and high to catch your contouring skills, which also means your partner is not seeing dem skills while he shows you his skills (LOL). They are seeing your five chins, your boobs flopping in opposite directions, and maybe anything that is visibly in your nose. The same goes for when you’re on top… this is one of the main reasons I hate being on top, because the angles are so not nice. Put your camera on your pillow and pretend you’re going all cow girl, and you’ll see what I’m talking about. OH and we aren’t even going to talk about the sex faces you’re probably making at these angles, because that will get reaaaaally depressing.

4. Your vagina doesn’t store all of the semen that goes into it.

OKAY IM SORRY. I feel like im bordering a territory that just shouldn’t be talked about. Ever. BUT THATS THE POINT!! NOBODY TELLS YOU THIS SORT OF THING. The first time my at-the-time boy toy and I decided that were were in a safe enough safety zone to consciously allow for this to happen (people, don’t do this unless you are on a method of birth control and you and your partner are STD free!! and make sure you are comfortable/prepared for any consequences that mayyyy still happen. SAFE SEX WOOHOO), I was thinking I would let it happen because it would be an easier clean-up. lol guess who was wroooonnggg! I’m not sure why I thought my body would just absorb all that went into it, perhaps it was hours and hours of health class (how ironic) that told me semen shoots way up and tries to get you pregnant. I don’t know. What I do know is that it was probably easier just to clean it up if it went elsewhere. Oh and prepare for it to continue to leak out of you after everything is said and done. Bleugh, gross lol sorry.

5. Queefing is real, and nobody reaaally cares.

There will come a time when you hear about queefing, and it will probably be people laughing about it and making it sound like the most mortifying thing ever (look it up if you don’t know what it is, I am not prepared to explain). The truth is, it happens. And it happens to every girl. Sometimes dudes are too in the moment to even notice, other times they’re comfortable enough with you that you can both laugh about it and continue on your way. If it’s a one night stand or something, they are not going to say anything because that will just take away from the hotness and mystery that is supposed to be your ONS (rather than the slightly scary, STD questioning ONS that is actually going down). Queefing is not a boner killer, so do not worry.

6. Condoms are not as easy or sexy as they appear in movies.

I am not saying do not use condoms- if you are in a position of uncertainty or really need to protect yourself from all of the scary things that sex brings, USE A CONDOM. I’m just saying that when you see it in shows and movies where the girl is like “do you have a……” and the guy is like “oh. yeah.” and then he rips it open with his teeth and they have amazing looking sex? Yeah, no. That does NOT happen. In real life, you have to ask, and you have to say the word “condom” because guys are stupid and if you said “do you have a….” they’d probably think you were asking if they had a hard on, to which they would get all smug and be like “uhhh yeah obviously ;)” (-.-). Then they have to get up and find a condom (IF THEY EVEN HAVE ONE??), struggle for 3 minutes trying to open the package, struggle for another 3 minutes trying to put it on, all while you’re awkwardly laying there (presumably naked), getting more and more turned off by the second. Finally he returns, all ready to go, but since you wasted 6 minutes laying there, you’re pretty much dried up and need to get going again… But before you can even try to get back into a hot and heavy make out sesh, he is already going for the home run (see point #1 of this list). Not to mention condoms chafe your vagina, and all of the lube on them is gone in a second. Ow ow ow. I’ve always had to cut things short because I cannot handle the pain that ensues with condom chafing. I don’t know, maybe it’s just the luck I’ve had with condoms and they’re actually amazing. I’m just telling you what I know.

7. You do not stop being ticklish.

Do you ever notice in the hottest of sex scenes that there is tons of grabbing and stroking and it’s just uuuuuber sexual?? NOT if you’re ticklish. It doesn’t go away. Your dude is trying to be sexy and he’s trying to get to know your body all up and down but nooooo, your insides are gonna clench and probably cramp because it’s taking everything in you to not kick and punch him simultaneously while writhing/running away. I didn’t know my side could cramp the way it does when it is grabbed by a horny guy. HOW do they do it in the movies?! Surely not everybody is immune to being ticklish. I’ll never know.

8. Music can make or break you.

For the longest time, music was absent from my sexual endeavors, until I made a “SEX” playlist (yes that’s literally what it’s called – I also have a playlist called “ANAL” which is suuuuuper misleading because my friends and I named it as a joke when we didn’t want to do “summer dance party 2015” because that’s lame..). ANYWAY, I played my “SEX” playlist, and discovered what had been missing my whole entire life. Music was wonderful to bone to and I was excited to add music to it all the time. Until I mistakenly added “Bound 2” by Kanye West, thinking that it was super mood inducing and sensual. WROOONNGGG. Imagine going down on a guy and Kanye just rapping away. It was soooo awkward. Lucky for me we were able to laugh about how awkward it was. Uh huh honey.

9. Sometimes getting off IS difficult

In my virginal days, I thought that sex was supposed to be this can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of thing (I will follow/like/comment on every single one of your posts if you can name where that quote is from). I thought it was supposed to be mind blowing and earth shattering… and YEAH, it really can be if you and your partner know what you’re doing. But sometimes you can’t reach that big O and your partner is getting sweaty and out of breath asking if “you’re close”… so you build up an Oscar-worthy climax, shake your knees a bit, grab the sheets like you’re about to fly into space, and just like that you’ve had mind blowing sex. Or so it appears. If you’re REALLY skilled, you do some kegels to make it seem like your vagina is contracting just to seal the deal. Like I said, sex can be an amazingly mind blowing experience, and if you’re finding that you are faking more often than not, my best piece of advice would be to relax, take your time, and play with yourself if need be 😉

10. You might fart on your guys’ balls.

LMFAO, this is really just me trying to get to 10 things… but I mean, this can totally happen. I can confidently say it has not happened to me, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you. Just play it off as a queef, hope that it blends in with other smells, and try not to let it distract you from enjoying yourself.

 

I’M BACK! …Not that anybody missed me.

This post is really just more of a formality for my own sanity, since as much as I would love to have like 59000 followers (does wordpress even do followers? I still don’t really know how it works…), nobody really cares that it’s been almost a year since I made my last post. This isn’t going to be a “let me update you on my life” thing, because like I said.. nobody cares. I just don’t like the thought of a year-long gap between posts, because it’s not aesthetically pleasing to my brain.

If you’re reading this and you’re not my best friend (hey bitch), then COOL! You might actually care about things that I wanna say. I can’t promise that I’ll actually keep up with this because I also did an “I’M BACK!” post with my photograhy tumblr page, that I have since not paid any attention to… but I need to occupy my time with something semi-productive while I’m not at work. And blogging allows me to use my brain while still sitting on my couch marathoning Fuller House which is a win-win.

SO YAY FOR BLOGGING

13 Incredible Things That Happen When You Grow Up With A Single Mother

Thought Catalog

Gilmore GirlsGilmore Girls

1. You learn what resilience is from a young age. Things are harder for single mothers, that’s no secret. You watch your mom work harder for her family’s well-being than anyone else you could imagine, and never complain to you about it. She is your guide for managing difficulty in your life.

2. You never ended up in a shitty relationship. Knowing that you don’t *need* to have a partner in order to survive freed you up to evaluate potential partners based on what they would truly add to your life, you were never clouded by the fear of being alone.

3. You’ve never shied away from hard work. Your mom never passed off the difficult jobs to someone else, and you absorbed that notion. Everything that you need in your life, you can accomplish by yourself.

4. You have an incredible sense of loyalty to your family…

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5 reasons why you should not voice your opinion unless you are ASKED

I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine, and I happened to mention a few things in passing about a topic that is rather sensitive to me. I put in a valiant effort to keep the conversation light, as I wanted to just mention two things that were actually laughable within the situation… My friend on the other hand had a completely different agenda. The conversation went from 0 to -328 real fast, and before I knew it, we were in a near argument over something that doesn’t even concern her. As she is voicing her opinion on said sensitive topic, I was just sitting there thinking of all the reasons why she shouldn’t be voicing her opinion at all. Perhaps some of you kiddos can relate. Here we goooo.

1. It’s fucking rude.

First and foremost, I have come to realize that sometimes opinions are not nice ones, and a lot of people tend to forget the golden rule of second grade; “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. I’m sure she meant to preface her opinions with something along the lines of “you’re my friend and I care about you”, but all I heard were some pretty harsh blows to myself as well as the other people involved. I’m sorry, I don’t remember asking for your opinion, and I definitely know now that I absolutely will never be asking for it again.

2. Chances are, you’re being ignorant

I am very carefully using the term “voicing ones opinion” because I believe that has a bit of a negative connotation to it. Providing advice or insight into a situation is much different than “voicing an opinion”. Voicing an opinion just sounds like somebody who needs to get their two cents in, whether it is relevant or not. In this particular situation, the friend I was talking to didn’t really know what was going on, which leads me to believe that offering advice or insight wasn’t even an option…. So all she was left with was to voice her opinion. The problem with this is that her opinion is based on minuscule facts that were hardly relevant to the big picture at hand. Voicing opinions shouldn’t happen at all unless you have enough information to back them up. And chances are if you do, you’re probably just giving insight or advice because you were kind enough to get your facts straight in the first place.

3.  It ends up creating more problems

Not only did I come out of this conversation feeling incredibly frustrated, now I have the original situation weighing on my brain, but also this opinion voicing spree! All day long I have been replaying some of these opinions over in my head, and it is fucking with me. I didn’t ask for this! I simply wanted to tell a person something funny that happened thanks to this situation I’ve got going on, and all of a sudden this funny thing doesn’t even matter, apparently it wasn’t funny in the first place, and now I have these opinion demons floating around in my head that are making the original situation worse. Thanks.

4. I’m a grown ass woman

Bitch, I can and will do what I want. I do not need a condescending lecture about something that isn’t even happening. Even my mom wouldn’t hand my ass to me the way it got handed today! This is because my mom knows I am an adult and I make my own decisions. If I wanted help on making a decision, I would have asked. But I didn’t. So why are you trying to tell me what to do……………

5. Your opinions make you sound like you are perfect. When you are not.

NOBODY IS PERFECT. Sometimes we find ourselves in interesting situations, but the beauty of life is that we can just kind of make it up as we go along, see what happens, and live life!!! Sometimes this gets us burned, but sometimes it turns into something good. Regardless of how things play out, they are all life lessons that should be taken with a grain of salt to put on your next bowl of “interesting life situation” soup. When people start offering up their opinions like they are a fucking gift, not only are you annoying the hell out of me, you are also sounding like royalty who has only ever made perfect decisions in their life. News FLASH: my decisions are neither perfect nor flawed. They are my decisions and I wouldn’t be making them if they didn’t do something for me in one way or another. Your so-called “perfect decision making” track record is actually not perfect, but that is fine by me because we are all humans. It only becomes a problem when you choose to turn a blind eye on all of the shit that you have done in the past.

And there you have it, a tiny bit of a rant on my part, but I genuinely think that many people can relate to this as well. At the end of the day, like I said, nobody is perfect. We should spend less time judging and criticizing others, and more time on doing things that are going to make us happy. Why do we concern ourselves with things that don’t concern us at all? Especially when these concerns are actually not concerns at all, but rather things that are merely happening. If that makes sense. JUST LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY? Support your friends even if you think they are getting themselves into something they shouldn’t. Let them make their bed and lay in it, and then be there for them when they have to do the laying. Unless they’re doing something illegal, in which case either join them if it’s awesome, or hold an intervention and don’t get all condescending or else you will just be the bitch that got nowhere.

The Dos and Don’ts of Social Media, and how it Relates to Relationships

So, I wrote a post about how social media is ruining Valentine’s day… Maybe I was wrong. Maybe social media isn’t ruining Valentine’s day at all, but it is ruining the romance aspect altogether. Relationship aspects altogether. There are so many dos and don’ts of social media, especially when you’re in a relationship, especially when it involves people in relationships, especially when you’re single….? you know what, it just involves everybody because if you are heavily invested in social media, you are just going to think the world is out to get you. It was so much easier back in the days sans social media, because the only indication that your significant other was oogling at other dudes/ladies was if you actually saw them doing it. Or if you looked at their phone records which were much harder to hide back in the day. And usually it would only go as far as a little distant eye fucking, which could easily be stopped with a little smack on the back of the head. Not to mention, the only indication that you were single was if you lived at home with your 492 cats.. Now single bitches are posting instagrams with Taylor Swift song lyrics that allude to their broken hearts and singleness (don’t worry, I am also super guilty of this so I can call out the single bitches, since I am one). Also, some of these dos and don’ts might be totally ironic, and coming from deep places in my sarcastic heart; not all of them should be taken utterly seriously k thanks

Here’s a list of the dos and don’ts of social media, starting with if you are a dude in a relationship:

DO: post a picture.

DON’T: let any of your friends that are girls like it because then your girlfriend will overthink it and think you are cheating on her with all of them. Eyeroll.

DO: like posts that your friends have posted to show that you are a friendly dude who thought the post was funny/pretty/relevant/YOU JUST WANTED TO LIKE IT.

DON’T: like any posts by your friends that are girls because then your girlfriend will overthink it and think you are cheating on her with all of them.

DO: post about how much you love your girlfriend because it will make her happy.

DON’T: post about how much you love your girlfriend 12 times a day because the only person who should care (and does care) is her, and these feelings can be expressed without a goddamn facebook blurb or instagram that nobody else in the world cares about.

DO: follow/”friend” your ex-girlfriends because you guys are supposed to be “friends” and it would be a dick move not to do it.

DON’T: let on that you look at see their posts because your girlfriend will find out and be super jealous for whatever reason.

DO: keep in touch with an ex girlfriend from high school who you have known since you were 13 because you guys are close friends and shit ain’t weird.

DON’T: let your current fiancee rip your balls off and say you can’t talk to each other when you know nothing is going to happen with this ex, ever.

DO: have snapchat so you can send your girlfriend vomit worthy cute little “i miss you” shits while you’re cooking dinner and she’s doing homework (in the same house. gross.)

DON’T: have snapchat so you can send your ex-girlfriend cute vomit worthy “i miss you” shits while you’re cooking your girlfriend dinner and your ex is eating at home alone (also a mega don’t if your girlfriend doesn’t even have snapchat).

DO: become friends with your girlfriends’ friends on facebook and wherever else.

DON’T: tell them all of the gloryhole details about how shitty your relationship actually is. No matter how the friend reacts (i.e. your side or her side), your girlfriend will be pissed af.


I really could go on and on about this, but I’m going to move on to the dos and don’ts of social media if you are a lady in a relationship woooooohooo.

DO: post something about your relationship.

DON’T: go into serious detail about the amazing romantic gestures that were meant for your eyes only (and maybe the ears of your 3 best friends), not your 627 facebook friends. (okay I get there is a bit of a double standard here (since I said dudes should not post at all), but most girls are much better about leaving subtle social media hints about their relationships, and a much larger percentage of their social media following will care enough to think “aw that’s cute” before continuing on their mindless scroll).

DO (more like a SURE): keep an eye on your boyfriend’s social media activity.

DON’T: read so heavily into who the fuck likes their posts, why they like certain posts but not others, or the posts that your boyfriend likes.

DO: live a fun life on social media because apparently that’s what 2015 is all about.

DON’T: subtweet the fuck out of somebody because you think they are sleeping with your boyfriend/desperate for your boyfriend/talking to your boyfriend/looking at your boyfriend/thinking about your boyfriend.

DO (again more like a sure because subtweeting is catty and passive aggressive as dick): subtweet the fuck out of somebody when they have explicitly said they want your boyfriend/have made actual moves on your boyfriend (because apparently that’s what social media in 2015 is all about).

DON’T: subtweet the fuck out of somebody until you know all of the facts hunnayyyyyy.

DO: have an active awareness on who is in your boyfriend’s life.

DON’T: threaten to up and leave because they occasionally keep in touch with one girl from their childhood via facebook and instagram.


Now now, I can’t just sit here and pick on those of whom are in relationships, single people do silly things too that may very well effect people who are in relationships……… So! Single people! Listen up:

DO: live a fun life on social media because apparently that’s what 2015 is all about.

DON’T: make a post-break up subtweet about no longer having someone to spoil at Christmas, so your parents are getting the cool kitchen appliances they’ve always wanted instead. Your ex is probably off gallivanting and having the time of their life now that they are free of your sad, passive aggressive ass to even notice that your parents are getting a Keurig for Christmas. Plus, she already has one.

DO: Post hawt selfies!

DON’T: post hawt selfies with sad sad lyrics pertaining to your break up and/or potential love interest…. unless it is tastefully done, and you must look damn fine.

DO: lead a fun, confident, and maybe single lifestyle and display it every now and then on social media (because you’re loving life and don’t need a man to make you feel good – you get off doing your thing (the pussycat dolls get it)).

DON’T: come right out and post about your singleness all over the internet (refer back to my Valentine’s day blog), unless it is laughable and only happens once every now and then.

DO: Keep your exes on all outlets of social media because why the hell not, you guys are grown-ups and had the “let’s stay friends” conversation.

DON’T: like anything they post, because no matter what, their new love will notice random patterns in your liking habits and come to the conclusion that you are desperate as fuck to get them back. Even if the 5 or 6 likes you have contributed happened when you were a) drunk; b) high; c) drunk and high; d) your dog did it when he stepped on your keyboard; e) you dropped your phone by accident and happened to hit “like” in the process; f) you actually happened to like one of the 6 pictures on purpose (for the motives behind the remaining 5 pictures, refer to points a-e).


WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT. The unfortunate reality is that relationships are being ruled by the evil force that is social media. Whether you are a dude or a lady in a relationship, a newly single dude or lady, or a single as fuck dude or lady, everybody is watch you and your every move. Don’t do anything silly kiddos!

“I’ll Start Tomorrow”

When does motivation stop becoming motivation and start becoming habit? D:

Maybe some people can help me out with this – how on earth do you stay motivated to do things that at one point or another you are super jazzed to do??!

Much like the majority of us out there, I am really wanting/needing to lose a good 20 pounds. I’m by no means unhealthy or obese, but this time two years ago I was roughly 20 pounds lighter and it certainly was fantastic AND I WANT IT BAAACCKK -cries- It’s not a matter of body issues or appearance (although it felt great to look great), but I felt better, I slept better, my skin was better, and soooo onnnnnn. The funny thing is that this time three years ago, I was the heaviest I had ever been (heeeeelllllllllooooooooooo frosh 30 — forget frosh 15 kiddos. If you’re like me and find out that you can have popeyes and pizza for dinner at university and nobody is gonna tell you differently, you’re going to get so. fat.), but after about a year I had dropped those 30 pounds and then some. Do not ask me how I did it, because I have no idea. Probably a combination of being nearly vegetarian with the exception of turkey and the odd burger, and the fact that I was partying every weekend (although the alcohol consumption makes the weight loss questionable?). The point is, I now no longer live on res where I can buy delicious healthy sandwiches, and I haven’t been to a club in like 7 months so I can say goodbye to all of the dancing I was doing haaaaw.

SO FRIENDS, 20 pounds has crept back up on to me and I can’t even begin to start feeling motivated enough to lose it. I more or less sit on the couch watching The Young and the Restless, eating popcorn, and poking all the different areas of my body that have gotten bigger and bigger (hello michelin man arms). But I can’t seem to actually get off my ass to do something about it. I read tip after tip, blog after blog, success story after success story, weight loss plan after weight loss plan… I get sooo amped and motivated to make a healthy change, and then end my excitement with “I’ll start tomorrow”. WHERE DOES THIS FIRE GO BETWEEN TODAY AND TOMORROW?!! WHY DO I EVEN INSIST ON STARTING “TOMORROW”!!?! WHY NOT RIGHT THE FUCK THEN?!?! And that is my problem. I can’t figure out how to keep that motivation going. If when I do “start tomorrow” it also “ends tomorrow” because I don’t continue working out or eating healthy for more than a day. The good news is that I no longer crave McDonalds (I guess eating it a few times a week for like 4 months will do that to a person……….. vomit). That doesn’t stop me from craving about 329 other things that are equally as bad for me (cough-mozzerellasticks/hashbrowns/onionrings/cake/donuuuuuuuts/icecream/whippedcreamfromthecan/chips/macandcheese-cough)

I’m going to Vegas in 58 days, and in these 58 days I want to do two 28 day circuits of Jillian Michaels’ “Ripped in 30” (effectively 56 days of Jillian woop woop). Right now I am super duper excited to do it and get ripped and healthy and all kinds of other things (and yes I’ve done it before, and I know it works for me).. but I am afraid that by tomorrow (which is my start date…….. I know, I know… tomorrowwww) I’m just gonna rather sit on my couch and eat snacks 😦

My question to everyone is how do people stay motivated?!?!! I used to work out all the time, and it eventually became a habit (I would literally go insane if I had to miss a workout), but I feel like I’m never going to get to that point again 😦 I need heeeeeeelpppppppppp